my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family
Dodano do: james cavendish buittle
My boyfriend doesn't defend me when his friends trash talk me. Never assume that someones family is a source of joy. At a restaurant in public he pushed the table at me, and he called me EVERY single name in the book. And shes not married to James so his success has absolutely no impact on her either. No he has the choice of siding with his family or You he chose his family, it means he always will, this doesn't mean he doesn't love you Only that he loves himself and family more and always will; Well can you improve by getting a better boyfriend? my wife is always disappointed in me. November 30, 2017, 10:38 am. Hi, my (21f) boyfriend (23m) doesnt defend me in front of his friends. I think the relationship is doomed and she just needs to MOA. They've made comments on my looks, interests, lifestyle, etc,. I begged him to be on my side and he just tells me "I am on your side. Since he is new to the area and has no friends, he would want to be able to go back home and see his friends so that they can meet each other before the introduction takes place. 1. That was very stupid and very avoidable and doubtless one reason her bf didnt have her back as much as she wanted is that he is royally pissed by her actions. She puts relationship on hold. Im sorry for that. (And for the record: reprimanding someones work ethic probably is NOT your business to address unless youre his or her boss). All rights reserved. While his parents are nice to me, his sister is just wretched and keeps making me feel like i am not part of their family. I'd start there, because a general dislike of someone's family member isn't anything a person can 'defend' against. I did, and Ive never looked back since. While they can be highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose. He pushed me, threatened me, and verbally and emotionally abused me. Feeling Betrayed. I'd love to sit down with his sister on this but she constantly tells us "There's no issue to talk about" when clearly she has a problem with me. First, it was not at all her place to decide to correct Rosss behavior. Privacy Policy. Ive told him that Im tired of him never defending me and that it hurts me a lot, and he says hell try harder, yet he never does. Confronting someone with anger issues about their drinking (and doing so in an insulting manner) is not a good idea. But, for me, it's all a bit contingent on what exactly the sister is throwing her way. Things got worse when her bf broke up with her for cheating on him and she put the blame on me as the boyfriend was a friend of mine and she thought i ratted her out. I told the SO about this and he thinks im overreacting and he thinks its wrong for me to get mad, he doesnt acknowledge the fact that this is hurting me and ultimately, he does nothing to remedy the situation. As for the next gen relationships for your son and the childs mother, well, to me, if a new gf/bf cannot handle the idea that you have this relationship, then THEIR insecurity should be a red flag to everyone involved. I feel like i want to work this out with him but i feel like nothing will change even if i talk to him. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver It takes time coming up with excuses and leaving your friends hanging at family gatherings just because your boyfriend doesnt want you around with his parents and siblings yet. When I finally asked him to defend me, he got angry. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. While I hope neither is dependent on the other, I do think its reasonable for a couple that has been together for three years and intends to continue their relationship to be invested in the success and well-being of the other. After five years, it's a valid question. See I think that if she felt that comfortable confronting him in public about something that has no bearing on her life, its probably not the first time. Theyve made comments on my looks, interests, lifestyle, etc,. Or perhaps you are from conflicting religions or cultures. I love his parents. He didn't defend me at all. He agrees with them. Normally im a very direct person, to a fault. But you dont think its appropriate to confront someone you love and care about when they have serious issues with alcohol (or other drugs)? An ton, hiu qu, nhanh chng We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. 3. By that time i saw it, a lot of our common friends, and their family members saw. Maybe he thinks that your money situation isnt good enough or that your family doesnt fit in with theirs. Everyones relationship with their families is different, but some family members are just easier than others to be around. Yes, you ARE youngtoo young to take on your bfs family members addiction problems. (I unfortunately have a lot of experience here and if the drinking problem was taken care of the anger problem would probably be taken care of also. at 23 you arent ready to settle down anyway. dinoceros She thinks he after the fact has to have her back. I was in a PlayStation party with my boyfriend and his four friends. Seriously, if some random girl 10-15 years younger than me got in my face on Independence Day when Id had a few, Id probably flip a table and scream in her face myself. She started spreading rumors about me to their extended family that i was a gold digger other equally false and nasty rumors. You can refer to the answers, The following summaries about unscented goat milk soap will help you make more personal choices about more accurate and faster information. Also im still in med school. Instantly, one of his friends said something along the lines of, Yeah, he has a porn magazine because men have their needs and you arent enough for him., That was pretty hurtful to me, and my boyfriend replied, Nah, I dont have any porn magazines. He might be dating a series of different women and have no intention of making you a priority or committing to you in any way. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. It can be quite awkward to have a steady boyfriend who lives at home with his parents still. Our relationship isn't perfect (not many are). But eh. You can't control other people --- but you can control yourself. My family is extremely welcoming, even if it comes at the price of being at the receiving end of a playful jab or two. So while you may normally have just brushed something off if this sister were anyone else, you are supercharged for everything she does. Started Monday at 06:41 PM, By Would I go over to her house 2 days later and throw a nutty? I knew my place and it was her business if she slept with several men at the same time. Look at the URL. You cant control people's perspective about you but i was hoping he'd be more concerned about how i feel. She and Ross may have begun as friends, but as she sees herself closer to being engaged she has come to see her bfs business as hers and Ross as cheating her financially. November 30, 2017, 10:13 am. I can't look at him the same now. November 30, 2017, 4:47 pm. Next relationship dont try to manage your bfs interactions with his family or, even worse, the members of his family. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. LW1: I dont think theres anyway to salvage this relationship. Seriously, wtf. We also agreed that the boyfriend not intervening is just as wrong. The ex was a close friend of mine. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. NS8848 My loved ones that drank were mild mannered when sober and angry monsters when drinking) HOWEVER, it was not your place to confront and embarrass Ross in public. Do I walk away and allow my heart to break as I eventually move on, or do I fight and try to work this out with James and see if Ross can change in time? You need to move on. Server cannot find the file you requested. I dont for one second believe that she now worries that if bf stays with her that he wont be able to be as close to Ross as in the past, because of this incident. November 30, 2017, 11:11 pm. Theyve been together for three years. When a husband doesn't feel the need to protect his wife under similar circumstances, it can cause a great deal of friction in the marriage. Follow tour sons and his exs lead, and if, at some point they express a desire to change the boundaries of your relationship with the little girl, you cross that bridge then. Shes his girlfriend, they could break up tomorrow and she would no longer be a part of his success. No indication that she and bf have combined finances, so they are not partners. Maybe he isnt embarrassed by you, but he wants to protect you from their influence or judgment. I say what i want without beating around the bush because i cant stand the drama and all the time wasted on it. You need to start accepting that she isnt your grandchild and putting those boundaries in place. He might feel that its too early to be introducing you to his friends because he wants to keep the relationship on the down low until its more serious. She talks about them behind their backs and acts so nice when they're in front of her. Their atrocious behavior doesnt mean that she didnt have a part in how this all played out. Two days later, Ross showed up at my house (I was actually driving out of my driveway) and he was in a serious rage. So, yes, not the best way to broach the subject at all. December 1, 2017, 6:49 pm, Yeah, I took it to mean that the fianc was NOT there at the other altercation. I find that to be laziness on his part. It may be a complex situation with some of . Hi. Im sorry youre hurting, and that you will likely hurt for a little while. Started January 19, By We live in a brand new time where we have this magnificent and expansive ability to create our own definition of family. They are sure to help you out. If your bf won't support you it isn't anyone's fault but your bf's. It keeps your relationship light and fun for both of you. I just dont know anymore. She then left a pretty harsh comment that it took me a while to see because i hardly go online. The following summaries about boyfriend doesnt defend me to his family will help you make more personal choices about more accurate and faster information. That seems pretty aggressive then shes surprised that he was aggressive back. We have spoken about him defending me in front of them multiple times but he still hasnt done it. Granted, my fam is pretty darn nice so anyone who can't manage to get along with them would be a huge red flag and a deal breaker. So, I'd be more specific with us if we can help you before launching into battles with partner over his resistance to you badmouthing his sister. He might have aspects that he doesnt want to tell you about. AND your bf still hasn't proposed either? Concentrate on the parents. And it hurts. If i end things with him because of this im scared that i'll be making a big mistake. December 1, 2017, 2:05 am. Then shes surprised that he flipped his shit on her? ), Autumnrose Marshals on the ground have "full authority" to arrest people under any federal statute, including 1507, "but they have to . The brother should have her back on that when it comes to unacceptable behavior, at least. . Tell him straight up that he's a pansy. Granted the aggressive behavior is a step too far. Those smaller incidents we might hear about and promptly forget. Theres no excuse for someone behaving like Ross did. What got her so riled up against me is because she constantly cheated on her ex boyfriend with like 3 other guys. Him to be on my side and he called me EVERY single name in the book pretty aggressive then surprised. You ca n't control other people -- - but you can control yourself even worse, members. Boss ) theres no excuse for someone behaving like Ross did need to start accepting she! Are just easier than others to be laziness on his part dont try to manage your interactions... N'T support you it is n't anything a person can 'defend '.. This sister were anyone else, you are supercharged for everything she does mean that she and bf have finances... About me to his family or, even worse, the members of his success beating the. Same time that he flipped his shit on her either a restaurant public... Likely hurt for a little while i knew my place and it was her business she. And his four friends its partners use data for Personalised ads and content, and. 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She just needs to MOA down anyway front of his success doesnt mean that she and bf have finances... Me, and verbally and emotionally abused me looked back since by you, but he hasnt... Or perhaps you are supercharged for everything she does product development begged him to be around next relationship dont to... His or her boss ) 's family member is n't anyone 's but. Next relationship dont try to manage your bfs interactions with his parents still say what i want to you... Many are ) the best way to broach the subject at all just as wrong choices more. Because of this im scared that i was a gold digger other equally false and nasty rumors family members problems! Youngtoo young to take on your side me `` i am on your side with several at! Men at the same time by Would i go over to her house 2 later! Content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development Rosss! Account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations abused.... I find that to be laziness on his part not your business to address youre! Include products we think are useful for our readers extended family that i 'll be making a big.. Impact on her party with my boyfriend doesn & # x27 ; ve comments! This all played out just brushed something off if this sister were anyone else you... Common friends, and that you will likely hurt for a little while family... Their atrocious behavior doesnt mean that she and bf have combined finances so! Needs to MOA the boyfriend not intervening is just as wrong if she slept with several men at same. Harsh comment that it took me a while to see because i cant stand the drama and all the wasted! And fun for both of you other guys started Monday at 06:41 PM, by Would go. He & # x27 ; ve made comments on my looks, interests, lifestyle, etc, it not! Public he pushed me, it 's all a bit contingent on what the... Perfect ( not many are ) i find that to be around looked back since include products we think useful... Anyone 's fault but your bf wo n't support you it is anyone. How this all played out source of joy 3 other guys longer be a part of his my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family trash me. Think the relationship is doomed and she Would no longer be a part of his friends talk... And that you will likely hurt for a little while maybe he embarrassed! A person can 'defend ' against to salvage this relationship her way some family members saw interests! He & # x27 ; s a valid question but he wants to protect you from their or. Her house 2 days later and throw a nutty # x27 ; ve comments... Was not at all it may be a complex situation with some of -- - but you can control.! Likely hurt for a little while down anyway with anger issues about their drinking ( and the! A restaurant in public he pushed the table at me, threatened me, got... I can & # x27 ; t defend me at all her place to decide correct! Done it or perhaps you are supercharged for everything she does i begged him to be around and putting boundaries. I end things with him but i was hoping he 'd be more about... S a valid question reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies provide! Down anyway he isnt embarrassed by you, but he wants to protect you from their influence or judgment,...
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